This afternoon as i was driving home from work, the feelings started to boil over. I couldnt take it anymore, i was really tempted to run that red light and collide with oncoming traffic. I just wanted to experience the pain i had put you through. My brain took over and jammed on the brakes, if i had survived. Would you have visited me in hospital. If i’d died, would you attend my funeral… I really wish i hadnt stopped… Now i lay here, wide awake. Wonder, thinking. If i left now without a trace. Would you even bother to look for me. All the bullshit i’ve put you through. I need to suffer for what i’ve done!
Yet again i manage to make you lose all faith in me. I fucked up again, i know and im sorry. You dont care what i say now i guess it doesnt matter. I finally found a girl who ticks all the boxes and i go and ruin everything, i’m sorry i wasted your time, Made you cry and stay awake most nights, I’m sorry i made you lose trust in me, im sorry for all the things i’ve done that have upset and angered you. I dont want you to stop loving me, i dont want you to stop hugging me and kissing me, i always want you to be my other half. Being with you has made me realise a lot of things about myself. I take fucking people and things for granted, i’m an idiot for doing that. I’m pretty sure i’ve done the same for our relationship. I’m sorry
There is no perfect relationship.
Bullshit will come up when you least expect it. Jealousy will come out of nowhere. At times you will feel replaced and at times you will feel like giving up. Just don’t go that far. Don’t give up. You’ll argue, and you won’t talk for days, but nobody says it has to be over.